The Forbes and BusinessWeek references got us wondering, so we dug up the lists:

The Forbes list of the wealthiest fictional characters (compiled last year):

The BusinessWeek list of the most intelligent fictional characters (compiled in June of 2006):

Someone in the office was joking around that with gas prices being what they are, for their summer vacation this year it may be cheaper to just mail the car.

But wait.  Postage rates are going up again.  The cost to mail a first-class letter goes to 42 cents on May 12th.  With the impending rate increase, we Americans are buying 30 million Forever stamps a day.  Interesting to note that the Postal Service has printed an additional 1.5 billion 1-cent stamps for those of us that bought 41-centers rather than the Forever stamps.  The Postal Service also -- for the first time -- has stamps available at the new rate before the rate change takes affect.  A set of five 42-cent stamps honoring pioneering journalists went on sale last week, as did a set of four stamps featuring the American flag flying at different times of day.

I got an email that had these supposedly actual quotes from accident reports. I can't vouch for their authenticity ... but some of them are pretty funny.

• As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision.
• An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished.
• The telephone pole was approaching fast. I attempted to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.
• The indirect cause of this accident was little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
• I had been driving my car for four years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
• I was on the way to the doctor's with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.
• To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
• I was coming home, pulled into the wrong driveway, and hit a tree I did not have.
• I was just keeping up with the cars behind me.
• The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.
• The guy was all over the road, and I had to swerve a number of times before hitting him.

Today is the day the government is starting to send out those "Economic Stimulus Checks."  Just in the nick of time, it turns out, if you find yourself needing gasoline.  AAA reporting this morning's price per gallon here in Olympia is up another 1.2 cents from yesterday to average 3.728 per gallon.

I got an email, however, that gets you thinking.  It points out what some other products would cost if they were priced using the gallon-scale:

• Diet Snapple 16 oz. $1.29 works out to $10.32 per gallon.
• Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz. $1.19 equates to $9.52 per gallon.
• Gatorade 20 oz. $1.59 works out to $10.17 per gallon.
• Vick's Nyquil 6 oz. $8.35 is $178.13 per gallon.
• Pepto Bismol 4 oz. $3.85 which is $123.20 per gallon.
• Whiteout 7 oz. $1.39 equals $25.42 per gallon.
• Scope 1.5 oz $.99 or $84.48 per gallon.
• Evian Water 9 oz. $1.49 or $21.19 per gallon.

So to dig the silver lining out here, let's just be glad our vehicles don't run on Scope, Whiteout, or -- God forbid -- Nyquil.

The Treasury Department said the federal government is going to start sending out those "Economic Stimulus Checks" on Monday -- five days earlier than they had planned.  There's a new computer program involved that updates records daily rather than weekly like the old program.  Overall, Treasury plans to distribute more than $110 billion to 130 million taxpayers by July and hopes to get the first $50 billion out by the end of May.

• I never thought I'd miss Nixon
• Better half a slogan ...
• Stable relationships are for horses
• I'm still a hot babe -- but now it comes in flashes
• I didn't believe in reincarnation in my last life either
• National Spellling Bee Runer-Up
• I used to have a handle on life but it broke

And finally, nothing like telling it like it really is, as Steve did in this ad to sell his motorcyle.

• Brilliant by Birth.  Slacker by Choice.
• Librarian:  The original search engine
• Red meat isn't bad for you.  Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
• Take a bite out of crime.  It tastes like chicken.
• If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
• This bumper intentionally left blank
• Honk if you hate peace and quiet
• I brake for red lights
• The last thing I want to do is hurt you.  But it's still on the list.
• Spotted on the rear window of a Mini Cooper:  (actual size)

As the discussion turns to his Seattle legacy, it will revolve around whether the offense made Alexander or Alexander made the offense that helped produce the breakthrough to the 2006 Super Bowl. Since the offense included Pro Bowl linemen Walter Jones and Steve Hutchinson, ace blocker Strong and one of the league's top 10 quarterbacks in Matt Hasselbeck, as well as one of the premier offensive head coaches, opinions inevitably will work against Alexander. But there is no denying the man had 112 touchdowns, more than 9,000 yards rushing and was often a formidable weapon in making the once-moribund Seahawks a consistent winner. If the Seahawks Ring of Honor were reserved for the flawless, it would be empty. There will be a spot for Shaun Alexander.

Howard Schultz filed his lawsuit yesterday seeking to rescind the sale of the Sonics to Clay Bennet and company.  The suit states that Bennett's group told Schultz's group, "It is our desire to have the Sonics and the Storm continue their existence in the Greater Seattle Area and it is not our intention to move or relocate the team."  The suit claims "that statement was false from the moment it was made."  The suit details a new e-mail from Bennett to his partners two days before the sale in which he said he was comfortable with the Purchase Agreement's good-faith provision because if Seattle did negotiate a new arena deal, the Oklahoma City group could sell the team in a "sweet flip" in order to obtain a different team for Oklahoma City.  Isn't that a show on A&E or the Home & Garden Network?  Flip that Franchise?

Nice to see J.J. Putz back and hear AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" at Safeco last night.  Speaking of Safeco, Liberty Mutual Group announced this morning that it has agreed to acquire Safeco Corp. and take it private.  Boston-based Liberty Mutual and Seattle-based Safeco say the boards of both companies approved the deal.  It's still subject to approval by Safeco shareholders and regulators.  We also, of course, have to figure out what we're going to call the Mariners' home ballpark.

• Jack Johnson The Hawaiian-born singer-songwriter recently built a recording studio insulated with used denim and powered in part by solar panels.  The trucks and buses on his 2008 tour will run on biodiesel.  The venues where he's performing are required to comply with his rules on cutting waste and recycling.
• Dave Matthews Band The band has calculated the CO2 emissions from every stop on its upcoming tour and purchased the renewable energy credits to make up for the footprint left by each venue, hotel, flight, tour vehicle, and even fan travel.
• KT Tunstall The Scottish singer-songwriter partnered last September with record label Virgin to create a 100 percent post-consumer waster recycled and chlorine-free booklet for her CD "Drastic Fantastic."
• Willie Nelson Willie's BioWillie biodiesel fuel, which is already sold in about six U.S. states, is set to add a key location when Willie's Place at Carl's Corner, Texas, opens later this year.  The truck stop is billed as the biggest green truck stop in the United States will all fuels having some percentage of biofuel.

There was a young actor -- all of ten years old at the time -- that made his screen debut in an uncredited role in the film.  The actor was Kurt Russell.  He appears in the movie trailer.  He's the little guy that kicks Elvis about 1:40 into the clip at the left.  

By the way, Kurt had a brief baseball career.  In the early 1970s, he played for the California (now Los Angeles) Angels' Double-A affiliate, the El Paso Sun Kings.  He was a second baseman.  He was leading the Texas League in hitting, with a .563 batting average.  During a game, he was hit on the shoulder of his throwing arm by a runner.  The collision tore his rotator cuff, forced his retirement from baseball in 1973, and sent him back to the movies.

Of course, the weather has to turn around eventually (doesn't it?) and when it does we'll be back to all of those construction projects.  You gotta love a road crew with a sense of humor.

The Seattle World's Fair -- the Century 21 Exposition -- was the first World's Fair in the U.S. since World War II.  It was held April 21st through October 21st of 1962 in Seattle.  Nearly ten million people attended the fair.  Unlike some other World's Fairs of its era, Century 21 ran a profit.  

As planned, the exposition left behind a fairground and numerous public buildings and public works.  The fair saw the construction of the Space Needle and the monorail, as well as several sports venues and performing arts buildings (most of which have since been replaced or heavily remodeled). The site -- slightly expanded since the fair -- is now Seattle Center, and the United States Science Pavilion is now the Pacific Science Center. 

This is the video that Bell Labs produced to promote the event.  You'll love the Seattle skyline, the outfits, the rotary phones, the touch-tone vs. rotary dialer competition, and the size of the Bell Boy pager.

Did you ever notice that you don't find warning labels where you need them -- like on Cousin Ralphie or Aunt Esther -- but you do find them in some places that just make you wonder.  Some actual labels:

• Warning on an electric router made for carpenters - This product not intended for use as a dental drill.
• On an American Airlines packet of nuts - Instructions - open packet, eat nuts.
• On some frozen dinners - Serving suggestion: defrost.
• On Nytol Nighttime Sleep-Aid - Warning: May cause drowsiness.
• A can of self-defense pepper spray warns - May irritate eyes. 
• Silly Putty package warning - Not for use as earplugs. 
• Baby stroller warning - Remove child before folding. 
• A fireplace lighter cautions - Do not use near fire, flame or sparks. 
• On a box or rat poison - Warning: Has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice. 
• A TV remote controller warns - Not dishwasher safe. 
• On a bag of Fritos - You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

"One thing we're certainly committed to is winning. It's been my experience that winning translates to fan interest. I think you'll see from this group a strong commitment not only to on-court success, but all the relative activities. We'll be very creative in our sales and marketing, our public relations, our community relations and all it takes to be successful here."

Okay, it's not a breach of contract -- it didn't come in writing --  but certainly it qualifies as a broken promise in the wake of a disastrous two seasons which now finds the Sonics headed to federal court in the city's last-ditch effort to keep the team in Seattle.

Those of us here in the Northwest -- Washington, Oregon, and Idaho residents -- are using less gasoline per person than we used to, according to a report released yesterday by a Seattle-based think tank.  The Sightline Institute reported that we used on average nearly a gallon less each week in 2007 (7.8 gallons) than we did in 1999 (8.7 gallons). It's the lowest per-capita level since 1966.  Despite growth in population, overall gas consumption has been relatively flat in the region in the last nine years.  Prices hit a record this week, with the average gallon of unleaded gas at $3.583 -- nearly 12 cents more than the record set last May -- according to the AAA Daily Fuel Gauge Report. Washington has the fourth-highest gas prices in the country.  A report released by Attorney General Rob McKenna, however, found that the skyrocketing rise in gas prices hasn't been a result of illegal price manipulation. For the past year, the state has been investigating why prices are consistently higher in Washington than other states and why they vary so drastically between cities. Why does fueling up in Bellingham or Port Angeles cost more than doing so in Spokane, the Tri-Cities or Tacoma? The report, written by University of Washington economist and petroleum expert Keith Leffler, attributed the differences to local competition and the cost of obtaining and transporting fuel to stations. Leffler said the differences are because of wholesale costs, the cost of transporting gas from the terminals to retail stations, land costs, density of gas stations in a given city and the presence of chain gas retailers such as Costco and Wal-Mart. Many of us are whining about the oil industry maximizing profits but the AG noted that "it's not illegal to make money." The report says high gas prices are the result of record high crude oil prices, increasing global demand, tight refining capacity, and control of supply by the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries. Washington's gas tax -- the highest in the country at 54.4 cents -- boosts the price a bit more for us.

On the topic of gas and driving, it was George Carlin who asked, "Have you ever noticed that anybody going slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"

Some dumb driver tales:  The animal lover was driving down Golden Gate Parkway in Florida when other motorists noticed his PT Cruiser swerving from side to side.  It banged into roadside barricades mangling eight of them and scattering sandbags before stopping.  Witnesses saw the guy jump out of his car, wrestling with a ropelike thing around his neck.  It turned out to be his four-foot boa constrictor.  After a brief struggle, he untangled himself from his pet's embrace and took off.  Police caught up with him later at his house and placed him under arrest -- cautiously -- for leaving the scene of an accident.

Greg Pringle and his carpool pal, Tillie, spent a recent morning standing and waving to motorists on a highway near Denver.  The pair was serving their four-hour sentence of public humiliation for violating the rules of the HOV (high-occupancy vehicle) lanes. Tillie was wearing a sign around her neck that said "HOV Lane is Not for Dummies."  Tillie is the kind of gal that normally can be found dressed in the latest fashions in boutique windows across America.  She's a mannequin.  A judge was not amused by her carpooling.  Greg says he's learned his lesson.  Tillie?  She was auctioned off on eBay for $15,000.  Greg donated the money to charity.

When curtis Gokey backed up his city of Lodi, California, dump truck he heard the usual warning beeps.  He didn't expect to hear the crunch of metal -- and certainly not that of his own car.  He admits that he was to blame for the accident but he did what any rights-conscious citizen would do:  He sued city hall ... for $3,600.  The city refused to pay.  So his wife took up the cause suing Lodi because a city vehicle and city employee had smashed her car.  The city attorney contended that -- though a spouse can sue the other for divorce -- one spouse can't sue the other "for damage to community property."  The wife, by the way, had upped the ante to $4,800 saying that "I'm not as nice as my husband."  The city council denied her claim.

Thursday 4.17.08

Miley Cyrus -- who is all of 15-years-old -- is reportedly working on an autobiography.  Yes, a 15-year-old is going to share her life story.  Hmm. 

Scientists are investigating the case of a Bosnian man whose house keeps getting hit by meteors.  Astrogeologists at Belgrade University say the home of Radivoje Lajic has been struck by rocks from outer space five times.  The scientists are testing a theory that local magnetic fields are attracting the meteors.  Lajic says that he is "obviously being targeted by extraterrestrials. I don't know what I have done to annoy them but there is no other explanation that makes sense."

 Wednesday 4.16.08

Thanks to whoever pointed out to ESPN.com the error in their ways.  In a posting yesterday, the site included this paragraph:

In a letter to NBA commissioner David Stern and team owners, Washington governor Chris Gregoire said the Sonics' Oklahoma City owners apparently weren't acting in good faith while trying to get a stadium deal in Seattle. He is asking the league to delay its scheduled vote on the move.

The he in this case, as we all know, is a she -- and the story has been appropriately updated since its original posting.

The NFL announced the schedule for the upcoming season yesterday.  The Seahawks are opening and closing their 33rd season on the road.  They play the Bills in Buffalo on September 7th and the Cardinals in Arizona on December 28th.  Mike Holmgren in his 10th and final season as coach of the Seahawks, will not make a "Monday Night Football" appearance for the first time since 2003. Instead, Mike and the Hawks are playing two Sunday night games, against the Buccaneers and Patriots.

 Tuesday 4.15.08

One of the great blessings about living in a democracy is that we have complete control over how we pay our taxes ... cash, check, or money order.  Did you know that in 1913 Uncle Sam collected only 13 million dollars in income taxes.  That's why they're called "the good old days."  

The U.S. income tax was first proposed during the War of 1812 but was defeated.  In July of 1861, the congress passed a three percent tax on all net income above $600 a year.  The 2007 individual federal income tax rates are between ten and thirty-five percent depending on income and family status.

You, no doubt, have received your Economic Stimulus Payment Notice.  The notices went out to an estimated 130 million households who filed returns for the 2006 tax year.  The IRS says the cost of the mailing was $41.8 million.  That works out to about 32 cents to print, process, and mail each letter -- just to let us know that our check is almost in the mail.  It doesn't include the tab for another round of mailings planned for those who didn't file tax returns last year but may still qualify for a rebate.

To receive payment, taxpayers must have a valid Social Security number, $3,000 of income, and file a 2007 federal tax return.  The IRS, we are assured, will take care of the rest.  Those eligible are receiving up to $600 ($1,200 for married couples) and parents receive an additional $300 for each eligible child younger than 17.  Millions who are usually exempt from filing a tax return must do so this year in order to receive a stimulus payment.

The rebates are being sent starting May 2nd.  The timing is based on the last two digits of your Social Security numbers (on a jointly filed return, the first number listed is being used), and whether you had your tax refund direct deposited.  Those who opted for direct deposit will get their stimulus checks first.  The schedule:

Direct Deposit Payments:  If the last two digits of your Social Security number are 00 to 20, you should have your payment by May 2nd; 21 to 75 by May 9th; 76 to 99 by May 16th.

Paper Check Payments:  If the last two digits of your Social Security number are 00 to 09, your check should be in the mail by May 16th; 10 to 18 by May 23rd; 19 to 25 by May 30th; 26 to 38 by June 6th; 39 to 51 by June 13th;52 to 63 by June 20th; 64 to 75 by June 27th; 76 to 87 by July 4th; and 88 to 99 by July 11th.

 Monday 4.14.08

The tax filing deadline is coming up tomorrow.  Did you ever notice that when you put the two words "the" and "IRS" together it spells "theirs."  Fight back! Fill out your tax forms with Roman numerals.  The IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.  Be audit you can be.

• Answer the phone.  It might be somebody.
• Things are cheaper when you make more money.
• I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

• If you can't be on time, be early. 

• This is like deja vu all over again.
• You can observe a lot just by watching.
• You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
• If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else.
• You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
• Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical.
• It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much.
• A nickel isn't worth a dime today.
• Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded.
• You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours.
• I didn't really say everything I said.

Friday 4.11.08

Gas prices are up 19.9% from what they were last year.  Gas prices normally rise in the spring when we travel more.  However, the record pump prices have also been supported by high crude prices.  

Oil prices surged to a new trading high above $112 a barrel yesterday before falling back to $110.87.  California continues to lead the nation in pricey gas at $3.767 a gallon.  Hawaii and Alaska both maintained prices above $3.60 a gallon.  New Jersey is the only state to see gas prices under $3.10 a gallon.  

Here in Washington, the statewide average is at $3.531, up from $3.041 a year ago.  In Olympia the average is $3.515 compared to last year's $3.041.

I got an email from a friend that's a school teacher.  Tests, it turns out, often produce interesting answers to questions.  As long as we continue testing, answers like these will keep on coming:

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death

Q: What type of scientist digs through dirt until he finds treasure?
A: Psychologist

Q: Give an example of a stereotype.
A: Sony

 Thursday 4.10.08

In 1934, while their boss was out, two DuPont chemists were horsing around, stretching strands of rubbery gum up and down the hallway.  The more they pulled the stuff, the stronger it became.  Unbeknownst to them at the time, the stretching changed the material's molecular structure.  Their playing around led to the invention of nylon.

In the late 1960s, scientists at 3M Company developed a glue to stick pieces of paper together.  The sheets stuck, but they came apart easily, making the glue worthless  -- or so they thought until later when an employee named Art Fry used the fickle adhesive to make bookmarks.  With that, the Post-It was born.

In the 1930s, DuPont chemist Roy Plunkett was trying to develop a better refrigerator.  The chemical he created to be a coolant failed to perform as expected.  Turns out it was too slippery.  Rather than throw it out, Plunkett considered other uses.  Today we know the chemical as a nonstick coating: Teflon.

So as you go through your day, remember the words of American poet Nick Giovanni who said, "Mistakes are a fact of life.  It is the response to error that counts."

Predicting the future is easy. The hard part is getting it right. Some examples:

"A guitar's all right, John, but you'll never earn your living by it." - John Lennon's Aunt Mimi

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau." - Irving Fishe, a professor of economics at Yale University, in 1929.

"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper." - Gary Cooper commenting on his decision to turn down the leading role in Gone With the Wind.

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." - Popular Mechanics forecasting the relentless march of science in 1949.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." - Ken Olson, president, chairman, and founder of Digital Equipment Corp. in 1977.

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is, inherently, of no value." - Western Union internal memo written in 1876

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" - one of David Sarnoff's top associates in response to people urging him to invest in the radio in 1920 (Sarnoff first proposed the concept of broadcast radio in 1915.)

This is that baby with two faces that was born in an Indian village. Her name is Lali. She apparently has an extremely rare condition known as craniofacial duplication, where a single head has two faces. Except for her ears, all of Lali's facial features are duplicated - she has two noses, two pairs of lips and two pairs of eyes. She has caused a sensation in the village 25 miles east of New Delhi. When she left the hospital, eight hours after a normal delivery on March 11th, she was swarmed by villagers. The head of the hospital where she was born says she drinks milk from her two mouths and opens and shuts all the four eyes at one time. Rural India is deeply superstitious and the little girl is being hailed as a return of the Hindu goddess of valor, Durga, a fiery deity traditionally depicted with three eyes and many arms. Up to 100 people have been visiting Lali at her home every day to touch her feet out of respect, offer money and receive blessings. Lali's condition is often linked to serious health complications, but doctors say she's doing well and that they see no need for surgery at this time.

Ralph said, "Basically, I treated her with respect and spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."

"Like to where?" asked the minister.

"Well, for our 25th anniversary," said Ralph, "I took her to Beijing, China."

"Wow!" said the minister. "What a terrific example and inspiration you are to all of the members of our group.  What are you planning for your 50th?"

Ralph: "I'm going to go get her."

Knott's Berry Farm and the National Organization for Women will become Knott NOW.

Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will join up as Fairwell Honeychild.

Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become Poupon Pants.

FedEx and its major competitor UPS would become Fed UP.

3M and Goodyear would merge as MMMGood.

Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Mountain Dew, and Dakota mining could join forces under the name ZipAudiDewDa.

And my personal favorite: Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers team up to become Poly Warner Cracker.